Do you have to be liked at work?

Welcome to Discuss HR, the HR blog written by Human Resources UK. 

Sharon Clews’ last post asked if you have the guts to have the tough questions.  She follows it by asking whether you need to be liked at work. (Ed Scrivener)

Do you have to be liked at work?

As a manager writing this and possibly as managers reading this, your answer to this question may be no. As a young person or graduate in their first role, the answer may just be the opposite. As for people who need to be needed, or need to be liked, I think we can guess what they would opt for.

But is it necessary to be liked at work? I think maybe only sociopaths and psychopaths are comfortable not being liked. That probably puts me closer to that end of the spectrum than I prefer.

Could it be I say that, because no-one likes me? (I don’t think that is the case, but you never can be sure can you?). Traditionally, HR people don’t fall into the category of people to like at work. We seem to be the department that people are scared of. The ones who wave the rule book, the ones who keep everyone in place.  (If anyone can tell me how we break that cycle, I’d be eternally grateful.)

I much prefer to be respected at work than liked. Liked is something I save for my friends and hopefully my family. Working in HR has taught me there will always be times when we need to appear as the enforcers of rules. Mostly that is because we are (or should be) about the needs of the business. The needs of the business dictate that you must perform well at what you do and must not perpetuate bad behaviour. That’s why they call it work. I would rather be known and respected as someone who has the guts to make a difficult decision or have a difficult conversation, than someone who has no credibility because they find these situations too difficult. I have been both intensely disliked and extremely well respected for the same decision. I have been respected by people who don’t like me – and I choose the respect every time.

I did a straw poll before writing this post asking the question of being liked at work and a few people mentioned that being liked can make your way in the office smoother. It is much easier when people co-operate with you because they like you. It means you are more likely to get a quick response or a little favour that makes your job easier or your day more pleasant. But why should this rely on being liked?

Are we not evolved enough adults to make this happen regardless of whether we like someone or not? I worked for over 3 years for a man I disliked intensely. I didn’t respect him, but I respected the position he held; the one that managed me. Ultimately that means, I report to him and I do what he asks of me. Again, another definition of work. I’m not sure whether he liked me or not, I dare say he didn’t, as I challenged him in many ways – but we managed to get our respective jobs done in a way that complemented what we wanted to achieve in the business.

I do admit that some of the best relationships in my life have come out of meeting people I have worked with, including my wonderful un-marriage. Some friendships I have which have passed the test of time are with people I once worked with.  Most of those friends were colleagues, some worked for me and one was my boss.

I have a rule not to be friends with anyone I manage directly at work. Why? Trust me, it’s not because I am mean and nasty…. (There is a theme developing though). It is that I learned that it is much harder to manage someone you are friends with than someone you don’t know that well personally. In a work environment, we need objectivity. Making friends with and liking people who report to you, makes all of that subjective. When it comes to managing the poor performance of a friend, there is no greater ground fraught with large unexploded landmines. Not only will the business relationship be put under pressure, the friendship probably won’t last.

By the same token, managing people who are your friends or people you do like, may create an environment of complacency. If you are liked by your boss, do you really need to try that hard?

Like most people, I have worked in all kinds of organisations, some where the people are mostly friendly and some where the word friendly has never been uttered. The friendly workplaces can quite easily translate into situations that reflect family dynamics. People learn about basic concepts of fairness, equity and resource allocation in their families, and these are crucial issues in the workplace. These basic concepts in families may be very different from the ones we find ourselves in at work. Familiarity in a workplace can cause as many conflicts as family situations do.

It takes a mature person to see past the likes and dislikes of our managers or our teams and just see the forest through the trees. If we can compartmentalise the relationships in the office and keep focused on the outcomes we will be measured on, maybe we will have more time and energy to pursue relationships that are lasting outside of the work environment.

Read about Sharon and our other authors here

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Discuss HR is the HR blog written by members of Human Resources UK, the 10,000 member strong LinkedIn group dedicated to the HR professionals in the UK.  Discuss HR is published twice weekly and looks to take an insightful, informative and sometimes irreverent view on the world of HR – all with the purpose of generating a discussion.

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If you would like to be a guest writer for Discuss HR, you can find more information here.  Our next guest writer week is the week commencing 26^th August.

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Communication throughout the ranks

Welcome to Discuss HR, the HR blog written by Human Resources UK. 

Our regular writer Jill Hart-Sanderson returns today to make her maiden post of the year (Ed Scrivener)

Communication throughout the ranks:

Never underestimate the input from front-line workers

When the senior management team have a difficult problem to solve where do they look for the answer?

In the early days for my career I spent some time working with a customer service team, dealing with orders of specialist high value medical equipment. The company had recently spent a lot of time and money investing in a new computerised ordering system, of which they were very proud of. When I started I found the system to be slow and difficult to navigate. This resulted in customers not receiving the information they needed ‘first call’ and order queries taking a long time to answer. I expressed my concerns and was told ‘well that’s just the way the system works’.

                                                                                                                                                                                     

I was becoming quite frustrated with the system when one day the department was visited by the director Mike Woodford*, who often conducted a company walk around every month or so to all departments. He walked over to me, recognised that I was new to the company, and asked for my opinion on the new computer system. The team looked on in horror as I gave him an honest answer explaining where I thought improvements could be made and the impact the current system was having on the customers. He looked quite shocked at my frank reply and promised to look into my concerns.

What followed was an excellent example of when can be achieved when senior management listen and act on what they hear. Suddenly I was part of the computer project team. I was asked to provide my ideas and suggestions which were quickly applied. From that day on until I left I was always included in ongoing system improvement communications. The customer services team could see that they had been listened to. They were able to improve their overall performance, felt more engaged and had a direct way of controlling the way they worked. Without the director’s walk-around the conversation would not have happened and improvements would not have been made until the problems had escalated to a much higher level.

Of course good communication across all positions doesn’t just give the opportunity to find innovative creative solutions. It can also prevent bullying, enforces employee engagement, and builds a culture of mutual respect across an organisation.

How do your senior management team communicate ‘across the ranks’? How can we improve communications so the whole organisation feels they have an input? Would this provide results, and how do you prevent it from turning into just a PR exercise?

The next time you consider ‘who should be consulted on this?’ remember all employees regardless of their rank have a vital role in an organisation’s success.

*Mike Woodford went on to become the president and chief executive officer of Olympus Corporation and one of the most highly placed executives to turn whistleblower in exposing the Olympus scandal.

Read about Jill and our other authors here

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Discuss HR is the HR blog written by members of Human Resources UK, the 10,000 member strong LinkedIn group dedicated to the HR professionals in the UK.  Discuss HR is published twice weekly and looks to take an insightful, informative and sometimes irreverent view on the world of HR – all with the purpose of generating a discussion.

*****

If you would like to be a guest writer for Discuss HR, you can find more information here.  Our next guest writer week is the week commencing 29^th April.

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Have you got the guts to have the tough conversations?

Welcome to Discuss HR, the HR blog written by Human Resources UK. 

Sharon Clews’ debut post for Discuss HR was entitled “All we can do is give advice”, today she follows that up with an excellent post about the joys and pains of management. (Ed Scrivener)

Have you got the guts to have the tough conversations?

It has been a long time now since I had any staff to manage. If you listen closely, you can hear the angels sing. Whilst I did enjoy it and all the challenges it threw my way, it was nothing short of the most difficult thing I ever did. I chose not to have children, so I managed people instead. God works in mysterious ways.

It is true that I will have stories to dine out on for the rest of my days.

Anyone who knows me lived this example of managing poor performance, painstakingly! One of my staff used to take the company car to drive to the shop to get coffee for everyone (of course he walked around the building and took orders before he left). He returned, delivered said coffees, chatting to all along the way, then took time to drink his own coffee and eventually got back to work. He thought this took 15 minutes; his tea break. In fact it took 40 minutes, on a good day. He conveniently forgot that he traded off that tea break when he signed the last Workplace Agreement giving him a 13% pay increase over three years. Not entirely his fault, no one had the guts to tell him that he couldn’t do that anymore.

If you are let get away with something for long enough, it can become the norm.

This very same guy did a less than sterling performance for 27 years. He was an absolute under-achiever of the highest order. When challenged on his work ethic, his work contribution and his general performance, he quite rightly produced his HR file and showed me that no one had ever challenged him on this before and there was nothing in his file about his poor performance. I highlighted to him the very sad fact that no-one had ever told him he had done a good job either. That meant it must be me, the new Bossy Boots who had a problem with him and the way he worked.

Well hidden potential

That was without doubt one of the toughest challenges of my career. It took me a year of setting targets, measuring performance, reviewing targets, adjusting targets, sending him on more learning and development than was good for him and basically devising every strategy I could find to get him to reach his potential. He had the most well hidden potential of anyone I had ever met.

Lots of very tough conversations and nine months later, he was dismissed for his consistent abysmal performance, including mistakes costing the company thousands; ruining the reputation of the business and creating ill will amongst his colleagues (unlike anything I have ever seen.) Dismissing someone in a Government run institution was a tough gig, and it can be done.

Your staff may just thank you for it

There are thousands of employees out there just like him. It is tough having to have conversations with people about the way they work, or rather the way they don’t work. I doubt to this day that he thanks me for it, but I have had other staff who have. I have had people return to thank me after I have made them redundant, cancel their contract or just plain old tell them off for bad behaviour. Some of them gloat, and that is OK. Some realise it is the best thing they could have done, or could have had happen to them. And in some cases, it takes a while.

To leave an environment that doesn’t stretch you or your creativity and is a lovely deep, well grooved rut can be a liberating experience, regardless of how it happens.

It is never a pleasant job to have to tell someone that they are going to lose theirs. People are human at the core of all that shockingly poor performance. They have lives to lead and children to feed, husbands, wives and parents to entertain and ignore just like the rest of us. Pity they don’t think of them when taking their employer for granted.

I have had to have tough conversations, not just about performance, but about stealing, bullying, racism, sexism and inappropriate swearing. I have had to tell someone it is not appropriate to call the company you work for a euphemism for a female body part. I have had direct and uncomfortable chats with people about bad body odour, inappropriate clothing, smoking in a non-smoking flammable confined space; coming in late, leaving early, excessive private phone calls – you name it. Were any of them nice? NO! Not for me and especially not for the staff concerned.

However, every single one of them knew exactly where they stood after those conversations.

To refuse to tell a person that they are under-performing, is not only poor management practice, it is poor leadership. It’s unfair and in fact, it’s just plain old bad human skills. Most of us just want to do a good job. Some of us think we do, and some of us know it, even though we aren’t always told (when will people get that? Can you just say “thank you for your work”, or “You’re doing a good job”. Is it really that hard?). I digress…..and OK, yes I was channelling a few of my previous bosses just then, sorry.

If you don’t provide feedback to people, good or bad, they will keep doing what they have always done, whether it is right or wrong. Having the tough conversations can drive you mad if you are not prepared and if you don’t have the skills to do it well and to protect yourself in the process.

Six tips for having the tough conversation

• If you witness the bad behaviour, ask the person into your office. Nicely, quietly and privately.
• If you don’t see it for yourself, then ask them to come and see you. Ask them for their version of the story. Perhaps: “I heard something unpleasant about xyz….can you tell me what happened?”
• Whatever the situation, start the discussion immediately. Do not make small talk or make them feel like they are going to be having a friendly chat with you. This is business and it is serious.
• Address the issue. “I just noticed {or I heard} that you did……(insert appropriate disaster here). I wonder why that happened, can you tell me about it please?”
• Give them enough time to provide you with an answer. Let’s be honest here, no excuse is acceptable when someone has used bad behaviour in an office, so the next tip is not negotiable!
• Say this, clearly, precisely and succinctly. “I just want to make it clear to you that that type of behaviour is not acceptable here in this office, nor in this business. Do you understand?”

Then stop talking.

My experience is that people listen, tell the truth and respond. They are usually embarrassed to be called on bad behaviour and who isn’t? Ask them if they are clear on it. Never underestimate the power of re-stating your point, over and over again if you have to. If they start to give an excuse, remind them in the nicest possible way that they are adults; that they have a responsibility to work well with others and to just do their job.

If there are serious reasons why their job can’t be done, they can be discussed later. Make a note of them, then make another time to review workload, or do whatever you have to do to support them (yep, bad behaviour still requires support…much like parenting!). But make those two meetings separate so they are clear on the performance message, and that they are also clear on who is the leader.

The “…how dare you?” tantrum

Seriously, if ever anyone says those words to me, I walk away. They may as well ask me if I know who they are. As a manager I recover from my shock and then take the person in question for a very strict, very sotto voce conversation (strange phenomenon that, the angrier I get the softer my voice becomes!)  I have had staff attempt to throw a tantrum after they have left my office. I followed them and suggested that they go for a walk, or take a break or go work the guillotine (OK, that was a dream, I worked in printing!). Keep your resolve and make sure they are aware that you will not accept that behaviour under any circumstances.

Feedback is a wonderful thing and I have been known as the Feedback Queen all my life. I love it. I have learned to accept it and I give both positive and negative feedback graciously. It is difficult to manage people because they are people. Some will hate your guts till the cows come home (but what are you doing with livestock in your living room?) and some will adore you for it.

I know some of you reading this will be wondering if I worked in a prison, or even dealt with small children and farm animals. Not so, just an environment where staff had been let do what they wanted; one with no authority, no leadership and certainly no one there who had the guts to have tough conversations.

Read about Sharon and our other authors here

*****

Discuss HR is the HR blog written by members of Human Resources UK, the 10,000 member strong LinkedIn group dedicated to the HR professionals in the UK.  Discuss HR is published twice weekly and looks to take an insightful, informative and sometimes irreverent view on the world of HR – all with the purpose of generating a discussion.

*****

If you would like to be a guest writer for Discuss HR, you can find more information here.  Our next guest writer week is the week commencing 29^th April.

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Christmas is over... or is it?

Welcome to Discuss HR, the HR blog written by Human Resources UK. 

Today we welcome back Dorothy Nesbit who looks at how we transfer our experience of family life to the work place. (Ed Scrivener)

Christmas is over... or is it?

It’s two weeks now since many people started to come back to work following a break for the Christmas holidays.  It was a break – but not necessarily a rest.  Last week the popular press was full of stories reflecting the fact that petitions for a divorce are highest in January:  no doubt 2013 will be the same as any other year.  Just as businesses have negotiated their way through holiday rotas and are starting to get back on track, who knows what little wobbles are taking place as men and women in the workplace are distracted by the aftermath of Christmas in their personal lives.

Reflecting on the joys and challenges of Christmas, I found myself pondering the enduring significance of our families of origin in the workplace.  In the mid 1990s, I first encountered the world of behavioural competencies and my expertise in this area still makes a significant contribution to my income.  One colleague, though, used to say that you could find out everything you need to know about how someone will perform at work by asking them about their family of origin.  Are they a single child or one of several?  And where in the pecking order do they sit?

Wikipedia reports that Alfred Adler (1870–1937), an Austrian psychiatrist, and a contemporary of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, was one of the first theorists to suggest that birth order influences personality. He argued that birth order can leave an indelible impression on an individual's style of life, which is one's habitual way of dealing with the tasks of friendship, love, and work, though it also reports that such theories are controversial in psychology.  But how do our experiences in our family of origin manifest in the workplace?

Take, for example, the relationship between a manager and those people he or she manages.  I wonder how much early family patterns are manifest in the relationship between an individual and his or her boss.  It takes maturity, for example, to realise that just because an individual has the role of manager, it doesn’t mean that he or she has the skills – the full ‘kitbag’, if you like – to execute the role effectively.  I see a parallel here with life in the family:  how easy it is to continue to struggle with the gap between one’s ideal parents and the parents we actually have.  Moreover, if we struggle to make requests in the family or even imagine that it’s for our parents to know what we need and provide it, this behaviour is likely to show up at work where we may unconsciously see our boss as one more parent figure.

In my own life, I have found that work and family go hand in hand.  Taking part in 1999, for example, in a large research project into what makes for an outstanding teacher, I was well prepared by a wise colleague for the experience of walking into a school for the first time in years.  And it’s not just walking into a school that evokes our inner child – one coaching client of mine was at a loss to understand why he struggled to speak when meeting his CEO until he made a connection with his early memories of his father.  Another client could not say “no” in the workplace until he had first found a way to say “no” to his parents’ most difficult requests.

One of the implications, it seems to me, is that work is a place in which, over time, we mature and “grow up” or, equally, fail to mature and grow up.  Through my work and personal experience, I know how much coaching can contribute to this process, bringing huge benefits both to clients of coaching and to their place of work.  As I complete this article, though, I find myself wondering, how important is it for HR and their “sister” professionals to be aware of the shadow cast over our work by our families of origin?  And, insofar as we have insight, what do we do next?

Read about Dorothy and our other authors here

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Discuss HR is the HR blog written by members of Human Resources UK, the 10,000 member strong LinkedIn group dedicated to the HR professionals in the UK.  Discuss HR is published twice weekly and looks to take an insightful, informative and sometimes irreverent view on the world of HR – all with the purpose of generating a discussion.

*****

If you would like to be a guest writer for Discuss HR, you can find more information here.  Our next guest writer week is the week commencing 29^th April.

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How to Eat Your Way through the Holiday!

Today's guest blog is from Dr. Kristen Bentson is the creator and owner of YouAnew Lifestyle Nutrition.

Caution—Holidays Ahead. Okay, get ready; here comes Santa, Sleigh Rides, Snow and all that food, glorious food!! If there was one question I answer the most, it’s how to get through holidays. Why? Because every holiday (whether it be Valentine’s Day, Fourth of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas) revolves around food. I've got a couple tips to get you through (and of course you are always welcome to join the YouAnew Program and get one-on-one coaching individualized to meet your needs!!).

Here we go!

Tip 1: SMALL PLATES!! Face it, you’re gonna fill it, right?!? I’m guessing you won’t want to appear piggy, so you don’t load your plate to the point that mashed potatoes and gravy overflow onto the holiday table cloth. If you have a small plate, you will probably eat just the right amount. If grandma already set the table with mondo sized dinner platters, envision that your plate has a border and is half the size.

Tip 2: GO SLOW!! The tendency is to wolf food down. I know, I know…It’s all your favorites and in anticipation of the feast, you haven’t eaten for days. Here’s the deal, if you move slowly, savor your food and enjoy the company, you will not only enhance your holiday experience, you will eat less. When you eat less, you have less work to do to shed those post party pounds.

Tip 3: MORNING RUN!! If you know you are going to eat (a little) more than a typical day, add an ADDITIONAL ½ hour or 45 minutes of morning exercise. This will help to offset the extra calories. Plus, you’ll have more energy, feel happier and better enjoy your day!

Tip 4: STEER CLEAR OF MARSHMALLOWS!! Most holidays feasts are made up of super nutrient rich foods! I LOVE turkey, corn, green beans, sweet potatoes, and pearl onions. YUMMY and HEALTHY! Here’s what I don’t love is the “enhancers” like gravy, butter, French fried onions, candied topping and cream. Skip those add-ons and avoid the post party pooch.

Tip 5: DON’T STUFF YOURSELF!! Stuffing is for turkey only. Don’t ever allow yourself to get totally full. Shoot for comfortable satisfaction.

Keep calm, stay in control and focus on your family! Enjoy every minute with those you love the most.

About The Author: Dr. Kristen Bentson is the creator and owner of YouAnew Lifestyle Nutrition. Her mission is to show people how to change their lives, how they look and how they feel by changing their approach to food. 

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Why are 1 in 20 bosses good leaders?

Welcome to this week’s Discuss HR, the HR blog written by and for members of Human Resources UK.

This week’s blog will hopefully be brought to you by the wonders of technology!  I am writing this on Friday night as one of my last tasks before having a week’s holiday.  I am therefore hoping technology doesn’t let me down and this will be published on Thursday as planned!

This week our regular writer Una Doyle looks at why so many managers are poor leaders. (Ed Scrivener)

Why are only 1 in 20 bosses good leaders?

One in 20 bosses. That's only 5%. According to this research cited in Management Today*, for every company that has 20 bosses (your average 200-300 employee firm), only one of them is likely to be a good boss. For a public sector body with say 5000 employees, it may have 25 good bosses. Puts things into perspective wouldn't you say?

How on earth does this happen in today's world when it would be easy to think that businesses understand the value of developing their people? It's not like there aren't any books on the subject or even free information out there on the good ol' web...

I've pulled together these critical danger points for you to look at for yourself and/or to work through with the leaders and managers in your organisation. They come from my personal experience and learning so I'm not saying this is all there is to it, please add your own insights too in the comments:

Critical Danger Points

Not understanding that different people need different approaches so they treat all people the same. This can come from a genuine wish to do well by others, so many of us learned "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Treating people with kindness and compassion makes you a good person. Giving all your direct reports public praise and recognition may not make you a good manager though - some will love it and others may be mortified. The same applies to how much time you spend handholding and 'helping' your team. Some may really appreciate help, others will just feel micro-managed and that you don't trust them.

Not ensuring people work to their strengths and talents. The evidence is overwhelming on this point. When managers and their teams really get how to leverage their talents across the team (and between them and other teams in the organisation) not only does productivity and effectiveness go up, motivation and engagement usually increases too.

Underestimating the importance of good people management the higher up the ladder they go. I've heard several HR people talk as though senior leaders don't need to focus so much on their people management skills because their direct reports are also more senior and should know what they're doing. Maybe so, however, there are some other factors to consider. Their direct reports are people too and they have the same emotional needs as any person does. Remember "All the world's a stage" and people are watching how senior managers manage to get clues about what is really valued by the big bosses, no matter what leaders say. So maybe it's more important the higher up they go as they get to influence a greater sphere of people. After all, people do as you do, not as you say...

They lack self-awareness - as cited in the Management Today article self-awareness is very important. Imagine a leader talking at a staff conference about people coming forward with ideas and interacting when they had shouted at people only a few minutes earlier? Leaders and mangers may believe that their past successes were all down to them and discount the contribution of others. Nothing rankles so much with people as when blame and credit are unfairly attributed. There may be times when us development and HR peeps have to bite the bullet and help leaders to understand the impact of their behaviour - get your CV ready and tread carefully though, not all leaders will want to hear it because...

They simply don't care and purposely choose a domineering or bullying stance because they believe that's what gets results. It will definitely get results; the ones where people do a lot of politicking to stay on their right side. The kind of results where people won't pass on valuable data for decision-making because it conflicts with what they know or think the leader wants to hear. This not caring often results in the best people leaving the business at the first opportunity because they're not allowed to do their best work. The research cited in the article found that 47% of respondents felt threatened at work, instead of praised... The end result of all this is usually a downward spiral for the organisation.

They don't manage change very well. Any research on change will indicate that participation and communication are the two most important elements of successful change. Yet time and time again bosses don't do either very well. All too often in my experience decisions are made without genuine interaction with others in the organisation. Often those making the decisions on changes don't know what really goes on in the level of detail that team members do. Give people a chance to input BEFORE decisions are made. Not all change will be good for each individual in the business but for those that it is make sure to communicate that as well as why the change is so vital in the first place. Then communicate that again and again and again and again until people complain that they've heard this message several times now!

The business hasn't got the right leader in the right place at the right time. In the way that team members will get to perform at their best when they get to work to their strengths, the same applies to leaders and managers too. Yet more than this, each leader will have a time and place in the organisation that is most suited to their talents. When a leader is great at innovating and problem solving, don't put them in charge of customer service because they are likely to innovate their way out of service issues. This is especially true when the business (or product) is at the point where it is building a solid customer base. In the same way, a leader who is great at managing risk is not going to excel if the organisation really needs to boost the performance of its staff. In addition, the economy goes through cycles (or seasons) too and this also influences who is best to lead at a particular point in time. You don't want the person who was so good at tightening your belts to restrict growth when the economy turns from Winter to Spring.

* see this article for details http://www.managementtoday.co.uk/features/1154107/only-one-20-bosses-good-leader/

About the author

Una Doyle is an accredited Talent Dynamics Performance Consultant and an award-winning speaker, coach and consultant. Una has worked with organisations such as Argos, Asda, Yorkshire Forward, Kodak and local authorities from a one-to-one basis, to groups as large as 2,000.   She is passionate about helping to create intrapreneur teams; getting the right people, in the right place, doing the right things with ownership and commercial acumen. Una has learned how to apply many of the world’s top-thinkers’ ideas in a way that is simple, profound, gets massive bottom-line results and a more empowered, motivated and engaged workforce.

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Discuss HR is the blog for Human Resources UK, the leading LinkedIn group for those involved with HR in the UK.

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Developing your leadership? Bring on the compassion

Welcome to this week’s Discuss HR, the HR blog written for and by members of Human Resources UK.

There have been a number of notable appointments and promotions in recent weeks: Peter Cheese, Francois Hollande, Roy Hodgson... (bonus points will be awarded if you know them all).  When you are appointed to a new role, especially a leadership position it is only natural that you may have certain reservations or doubt your own ability despite your outward confident demeanour.  Today, our regular writer Dorothy Nesbit looks at how you can confront this and develop your leadership ability. (Ed Scrivener)

Developing your leadership? 

Bring on the compassion

Why is no one following me?

You've got the promotion.  You're in your new role.  You're putting on a brave face.  You're maxing up the 'positive self-talk'.  Come on, you can do it.  They wouldn't have put me in the role if they didn't think I was up to it.  And remember that project for Asia last year - this can't be more difficult than that.  You know you have what it takes to succeed - intellectually, you know.  But sometimes, the intellectual knowing just isn't enough.

It gets worse.  It gets personal.  You know that, in order to succeed, you need to make headway in developing new skills.  Perhaps you need to rely less on your technical skills (as an accountant, lawyer, doctor etc.) and cultivate skills in a whole new area - leadership, emotional intelligence, call it what you will.  Perhaps you have to let go of doing what you've always done best and start to deliver with and through others.  You've always got huge plaudits for your ability to deliver - but can you get others to deliver in the same way?

Maybe it gets even worse than that.  You know - you know - that whether it's in this job or another there's no turning back.  Doing everything yourself was barely working for you in your old job - you haveto find new ways of working, whatever your job.  You were on your way to burn-out and you know it.  Or perhaps you'd got as far as you could go by getting angry with yourself, or your staff, and you know you've got to find new strategies.

The trouble is, you've acknowledged the problem - but you don't begin to know how to address it.  You're in one of life's most tender spots - you've crossed a threshold and you don't know where to go.  Joseph Campbell highlighted this aspect of the human journey in his research which I briefly summarised in the blog post Joseph Campbell and the hero's journey.  Crossing the threshold means stepping out of our comfort zone and accepting some challenge or 'call to adventure'.  Campbell's research - into the myths of many cultures on this subject - shows how we have to accept the call to adventure before the resources we need begin to show up.

What's it like to stand in this most tender of spots?  Recently, a conversation with a colleague reminded me of the feelings that can - if we let them - overwhelm us in this place.  Sometimes, there is intense sadness, grief and loss as we acknowledge the impact on our lives of the choices we have made in the past.  We may be overwhelmed with compassion for our younger self who learned, for example, how to do everything personally rather than to face the ire of a parent or teacher when we asked for help.  We may be sorrowful when we realise just how much this early choice has shaped our lives, keeping us from reaching out for help.  And we may be intensely scared when we think of what we might have to do that we have never done before.

Navigating this stage of our own journeys requires a large measure of compassion, both for the way it shines a light on those areas in which we need to develop and for all the emotions that comes with this.  The language of leadership development - 'areas for development', weaknesses', 'growing edge' marches on past this level of emotion with barely a side-glance of acknowledgement.  It helps if we are not alone in holding our emotions in this tender place - if we have a trusted coach, or mentor, or peers, or family.  All the love and support we need is available to us, though learning to receive it may be a hero's journey in itself.

Campbell talks of the hero but we might equally talk of leaders.  Leaders are made in this place, because they are the people who constantly step across each new threshold as they meet it.  And if they can only stand close to the fire of their emotions, they are also the people who learn how to understand themselves and others - an essential quality if we are to lead others in ways which engage and inspire.

If you want to read more about Campbell's work, I recommend his books (especially The Power of Myth) and also The Hero's Journey by Robert Dilts and Stephen Gillighan.  For now, though, I wonder, what are the thresholds you face right now?

About the author

Dorothy Nesbit, Leadership Coach, unleashes innate leadership potential through powerful, compassionate and authentic relationships.
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Discuss HR is the blog for Human Resources UK, the leading LinkedIn group for those involved with HR in the UK.  Next week’s Discuss HR will be published on Thursday 24^th March and will be written by HR Consultant John Hepworth.

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The state of management

Welcome to another Discuss HR, the blog written by and for members of Human Resources UK.

Time is relative to each individual, but the thought we are about to enjoy the final Bank Holiday before Christmas is somewhat astonishing! The year has flown by for the group too, which has seen member numbers swell by over 50% which is fantastic.  On that note we are looking to grow the numbers of the blog writers, so if you are interested in joining the panel please let me know.

To the point at hand, today John Hepworth looks at why so many organisations treat leadership as a trait we are born with, rather than a trait we are capable of learning. (Ed Scrivener)

The state of management

What makes a good leader?

In recent months, I have been talking to a lot of managers. Some of them suggested that they were in fact ‘leaders’; many of them did not really understand what leadership meant in practice.

Management and leadership; leadership and management. They still seem to be inter-changeable in today’s business world: this, the world of amazing technology (is it only 30 years since the first pc was launched by IBM?), fluctuating markets and “Dragon’s Den”. You would think that by now, with management science being around for at least 150 years – and a good deal longer if we consider the ancients like the Greeks and the Romans – management and leadership would be a good deal better defined, and indeed understood?

I suppose that the simple answer to this question is that the term ‘general management’ is still not seen as a vocation and a respectable profession. Even when we re-brand it as leadership – perhaps as being focus on the future, rather than management of the present (insert your own definitions here – there are so many!) – this is often on the back of ‘entrepreneurship’. For instance, Richard Branson, James Dyson, Peter Jones et al – I’d bet that they are all seen as entrepreneurs, for who management and leadership comes from having a great commercial idea and sense of timing. Not that they get their businesses going through exceptional people management. When do you here any of them chatting about how better people leadership got them better results? I may have missed them, so forgive me, but I cannot recall such a focus recently. If anything, it is all about stocks and shares and their impact on earnings per share or some such (by the by, who selected the risk takers in the City?!).

In other words, management and leadership is a by-product of the original reason they got into business in the first place – to make money.

Even if I look at the not-for-profit sector, I would argue that many are still thrust into the management or leadership positions on the back of their own original vocation – be that nursing, local government or other public SERVICE.

My point I guess is that until organisations begin to value the development of managers and leaders in the same way that they value technical expertise in engineering (perhaps a bad example!), accountancy or supply chain savings, then the profession will still be the business bridesmaid, to quote a phrase.

So in the spirit of the positive psychology movement, what may be done in order to create a better image for the manager and the leader?

Turning aside the obvious process route – we know appraisals work, so do development plans, so does honest and fair disciplinary, and so on – the fundamental is that companies perform better when people are managed and led. And to select the right managers and leaders initially is a good start. It is without doubt clear that selection of managers and leaders is poor; when it does happen, then there is little or no support afterwards.

And I am not referring here to the larger companies in the UK. With over two million defined as small businesses, it is here that the selection and development of managers and leaders is at its worst. This sector needs to address this issue sooner rather than later and see selection and development of their management / leadership cadre as much more than ‘the job is yours because you know the product / client / customer’. People management through management and leadership is a worthwhile and difficult technical skill – but boy, do you see the benefits when it done properly. With the current economy, the survival and development of small businesses surely is the way forward, especially as most of us are employed in them?

SME management...

For the small business market, the Government incentives that include LMAS funding are welcomed but nearly every time I have used the facility supplied by LMAS, small companies do it because there is funding – and not because they need to improve their people skills. We need as a group of HR professionals to ‘sing from the rooftops’ about the benefits of selecting better managers and leaders – we all need to get ‘blogging’ about best practice and network to share the ideas that work. We need to show leadership and influence to prove to the clearly profit-focused and energised CEOs of this world that all elements of employee engagement are worthwhile – and that they come through good managers and leaders.

We have a responsibility to lead this debate and pull it away from how much funding is there, what free development is available and so on and be evangelical in our promotion. Management and leadership is a profession to respect and nurture – but let’s make a noise about it!

About the author

John helps organisations, especially in the SME sector, achieve competitive advantage.  He has a particular interest in translating strategic HR management into practice.  Typically, this has meant focusing his efforts on recruitment and selection, performance management and training and development activities.  John sees the challenge of matching the development of internal competencies with the externally driven demands of the market place as one of the key themes in developing organisational engagement, capability and performance.

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Discuss HR is the blog for Human Resources UK, the leading LinkedIn group for those involved with HR in the UK.  Next week’s Discuss HR will be published on Thursday 1^st September and will be written by Annabel Kaye, Employment Law Specialist.

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