Tears, Tissues, Tea and Sympathy

Welcome to Discuss HR, the HR blog written by Human Resources UK. 

Today’s post is by our regular writer Sheena McLullich who asks an excellent question about whether HR is over-looking a traditional area of responsibility in the pursuit to appear credible. (Ed Scrivener)

Tears, Tissues, Tea and Sympathy

Apparently last Monday (21^st January) was Blue Monday – the most depressing day of the year.  Christmas is a rapidly fading memory, New Year’s resolutions have already been abandoned, credit card statements are due for payment, it’s still at least a week until pay day and almost 2 months until the next bank holiday.  Coupled with the usual miserable weather at this time of year, the dark mornings … did you struggle to get up and face the world on Monday morning?

What about your employees?  Is that miserable face at the desk opposite the result of a delayed  train, a sick pet or a symptom of something more serious?  Do you know?  Did you ask?  Should you care…?

As an HR professional, I’ve lost count of the number of times that someone has come into my office and said “can I talk to you …?” before bursting into tears and pouring out details of a tragic event in their lives.  Often their close colleagues had no idea that anything was amiss until the person concerned reached the point where they just had to talk to someone.  It could be money worries, relationship problems, an ill relative, concerns about a child … the list is endless and it often has nothing to do with work. 

Actually, the work ‘stuff’ is usually quite easy to sort out and, in most cases, comes to my attention via a manager who has noticed a problem with performance and comes to ask for advice on how to handle matters. 

Personal problems on the other hand, almost always come from the employee themselves and things have often reached crisis point before they look for help.  It’s one of the reasons why I always have a box of tissues on my desk.  It may not be fashionable in these days of transactional, hard-nosed HR but, believe me, they get used a lot.  That’s something that worries me on occasions.  I’m certainly not the cuddly, maternal ‘Auntie Sheena’ type (cue for howls of laughter from anyone reading this who knows me!) but people do tend to come to me when they feel they’ve no-one else to talk to.  What happens in organisations where there is no HR function or, worse, where there’s an HR function that’s under too much pressure and can’t or won’t take the time to deal with these often time-consuming problems?

I’m not a trained counsellor and I do know that there are times when serious issues must be referred on to a qualified professional or the employee assistance programme (where there is one).  Sometimes though, people just need to talk things through or may need persuading to contact a third party.  Sometimes I simply have to make them a cup of tea – and wait until they’re ready.  All these things can take time out of an already hectic schedule but I believe that they have to take priority. 

Tears and tissues.  Tea and sympathy.  They’re seen in many quarters as old-fashioned ‘personnel’ qualities but if HR doesn’tdeal with them, who will? 

Read about Sheena and our other authors here

*****

Discuss HR is the HR blog written by members of Human Resources UK, the 10,000 member strong LinkedIn group dedicated to the HR professionals in the UK.  Discuss HR is published twice weekly and looks to take an insightful, informative and sometimes irreverent view on the world of HR – all with the purpose of generating a discussion.

*****

If you would like to be a guest writer for Discuss HR, you can find more information here.  Our next guest writer week is the week commencing 29^th April.

Any source