Milo And His New Kernel

Berlin. A city that has seen its fair share of change in the past century, and now the backdrop for the great and the good to set out their stalls as start-ups proliferate, especially in the technology sector. And sadly, as ever, along with those of noble intent come the hangers-on, those who are in it first and foremost for Themselves Personally Now, joined recently by a Zelo Street favourite.

No, I'm not looking at you. And nor is anyone else

Step forward the vapid and deeply repellent Milo Yiannopoulos, who has let it be known that he is re-launching the late and not at all lamented Kernel Mag – perhaps without the Mag part, this development demonstrating his innovative skills – in the German capital. Yiannopoulos, who pretentiously titles himself “Columnist and Broadcaster”, is supposedly determined to bounce back.

Back, that is, from the fall of the Kernel Mag in March, following Yiannopoulos bringing The Curse Of Zelo on himself for a crude and ineffective hatchet job on this blog, which he had delegated to someone else, demonstrating that he is of less than perfect courage. He now claims to have paid off his debts, but the glowing report from the Independentfor some reason omits the phrase “in full”.

But where is the money coming from for the new and no doubt much more wonderful Kernel? And there will need to be plenty of it: not for Milo the indignity of mixing with the great unwashed. You won’t find him standing by the currywurst counter at Ostkreuz while changing from Ringbahn to Stadtbahn: Yiannopoulos has to have a chap to drive him around town. What to do?

Well, he’s got venture capital outfit Berlin42 to fund the re-launch. Sensibly, they have installed their own man as CEO. This will undoubtedly assuage potential contributors, who can be reasonably sure they will get paid, and paid the sums agreed. But how long an expenses leash Berlin42 will give Yiannopoulos, and how long they will give him before pulling the plug, is not known.

Venture capital providers are not charitable organisations. And the only source of income that Kernel Mag previously enjoyed, its subscription newsletter, will not be reappearing. How exactly does he expect to square the business circle? Er, “there may be some ads” he tells. And the hatchet jobs will continue: “Obviously as an opinionated publication we did and will continue to make enemies”.

Why should he do this? Because “the vast majority of enemies we made were for good reasons – they are enemies because they're bad people”. Wrong, Milo. They are enemies because you behaved like a complete twat towards them. And that’s why there was such rejoicing when you got your come-uppance. And why The Curse Of Zelo remains upon you and your pitiful creation.

I look forward to celebrating The Kernel’s next birthday. If there is one.

Any source